Using
Talking with you is my drug –
every time you respond
I feel my high increase
each message
building my dosage
waiting for the next,
but when you lag,
when we talk once per day,
or worse,
none at all,
I feel the withdrawal
constantly searching,
rechecking my phone,
I should not feel this dependent,
I don’t know how I lost control
but I guess like any addict,
during my time of weakness
you entered my life
making me feel as though
I could be distracted
from everything which was weighing on me,
but that is the thing about distractions
they do not last forever,
eventually you must face your monsters
and sometimes
those monsters
may become inclusive
of what you used
as your crutch
to get through your obstacles,
but you never really got through them,
you simply pushed them aside
changing your focus
to something else
continuing the cycle
until the aggregated pile pushed aside
has become so massive
you are surrounded
your view is blocked
everything is crashing upon you
like a tsunami
but you are not blind
you are engulfed,
unsure of which way is up
and rehab will not fix this addiction,
you must face all your fears,
accept your broken heart,
and realize
that your pain cannot be mended
through the addition of another in your life,
you must reconcile the relationship
between your head
your heart
and reality
by yourself
-POE(MS)
